- I'm not afraid of dying . . . I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
- He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.
- It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
- Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.
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